My Kids are Growing Up!
I just realized that my kids are growing up.
It just occurred to me last week when my 5 year old turned to his daddy and said, “Dad, where can I find a woman?”
What??
That startled me into the reality of the passage of time.
As I pondered, it occurred to me that my emotions weren’t saddened or remorseful of the years gone by. I found myself feeling – lighter, a bit relieved. Moms aren’t supposed to say this but I’ve gotta come clean: my boys are growing up and I’m glad. Jackson, our oldest just turned seven. Jerry Jr (who we call JC) is five, and Jude just had his first birthday!. (Wow, that was a pretty fast year.) All of my friends with older kids have assured me that the time passes so fast. But overall that hasn’t been my experience. Each day seemed to drag on for eternity when they were little guys. Runny noses, dirty diapers, the crying. . .O my. . .
So, it appears that I’m not the kind of mom who loses sleep over my babies getting older, wishing that they’d fit into their 12mo size onsie for just one more month, or longing for them to cling to the hem of my skirt instead of going into the Sunday school class I’m trying to drop them off at. Nope. Motherhood seems to fit me better when they are, well, bigger.
I don’t feel as rushed and hurried with a seven, five and one year old as I did when the first two were 3 months and two. Life was just a blurr for me during those times. Now, Jerry and I are rediscovering each other; actually having a relationship that involves more than just drilling each other with questions about who did what.
My mother-in-law, fabulous woman that she is, gasped and frowned when I mentioned being excited that Jude’s first year was almost over. She said that she wished he’d keep those fat thighs and that wobbly-kneed, unsure walk forever. HMMMM, it’s cute and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part but...I’M OVER IT! While I’ve tried to drink in every moment with each of my boys, the baby stage – I admit it – wears me out. I don’t think I’ll miss the exhaustion I feel during the day because I haven’t slept at night. I don’t know if I’ll mourn the loss having to find a hollow spot in a bathroom far away from the festivities, or ducking down below the window on the driver side of the car so as not to expose myself when I nurse a wee one. While I’ve loved the tender midnight moments and have thoroughly enjoyed the first year I spent nursing each son, I feel a tinge of excitement about moving on to tackle the next leg of the journey. I’m just one of those women who likes talking to them when they can talk back to me. I like seeing their minds engage in my instruction. I especially like being able to say “go get in bed” or “go to the potty” and know they can do it all by themselves.
Yup, the babies years have been fun, but we're moving on at the Shirer household. I know that older kids bring bigger challenges. I'm believing God to help us tackle them when they arrive.
Hope there’s at least one other mommy out there who understands and hollers “AMEN, SISTER”!
Priscilla
PS I've got more (tired but fun) thoughts on motherhood here!
I get it. My two are adults
I get it. My two are adults now, and that's a wonderful thing, too. Plus, you get to revisit the baby years with grandchildren!
I go back and forth on this
I go back and forth on this one. There are pros and cons to each milestone. I feel like each day drags on and on (especially if it's filled with leaky diapers and spit ups), but looking back at it, it does go by fast. I can't believe my older one will be 3 soon and my younger one just turned 6 months! I just did a 0-3 months photobook for her (the Small Thing prize at Home Sanctuary this last month) and can clearly remember taking each photo. I will miss some of these baby days (but I am going to throw a party once that Boppy is off our bed and out of our house!), but hey, what are nieces/nephews, and later, grandkids for? =p
ready to move to another season...
AMEN! I am in no way saying I do not LOVE my children BUT I am happy to be in another season of life. They are 9,7, & 6.May GOd continue to bless you through each stage with strength and wisdom :0)
Marie Bezeau
P.S please do not take ofense to my blog address--it's a long story....
Just now am I kind of wanting
Just now am I kind of wanting to put the hold on my kids growing up I have a 12 year old son and 10 year old boy/girl twins. My house is quiet while they are at school, they are growing into young adults in the blink of an eye. When they were little I was so worn out I just seemed to try and survive with a smile on my face. I can see a day that will come too soon that they will be grown and gone, I just want to make the most of every moment and cherish while they are here. But I can guarantee you I didn't have the same sentiment 7 years ago ; )
AMEN and AMEN
Sister-
I hear your battle cry and I am behind you full force...sword ready to defend your opinion on this matter.
I am SOOOO glad mine are growing up...I don't want them married and off on their own or anything like that...but tie your own shoes, get your pjs on, go get yourself something to drink---I am ready!
:)I support you!
paige
Happy
I am truly happy that my son is 10. When he was a baby, I often wondered if I would ever sleep all night long. When that day came...I was happy.
I love that he's grown up and in fact I am looking forward to him graduating next year from elementary school, then middle, and high school.
Last night as we were driving to Walmart, he said 'mom in 3 years, I will be a teen'. Now that scares me a bit.
I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Myriam
AMEN SISTER!
Amen Sister! My children are now 26, 21 and 20 and I can remember feeling the same way you do today. Yes, there are completely different challenges in parenting adults but I love it.
My story is not one where my children were raised in the Word and KNOWING the Word of God. At times I am tempted to think, "what if?" and "why couldn't that have been our story?" but, what glory does God receive in "what if's"? Time and time again He brings someone into my path who needs to be encouraged and needs to hear it is not too late for our children, no matter their age. I am fighting for my children! Trusting Him AND believing Him to do great things with each of my adult children!
Your sister in Christ,
Karen
You Go Girl!!
I'm totally with you! I have four kids with 5 1/2 years between the oldest and youngest. The first few years were Dantes Inferno....if you know what I mean! Lot's of manual labor, diapers, fatigue, diapers. They're actually lucky to have survived. Or maybe it's me who's the lucky one. Now they're 9-15 and life is good: no more car seats, diaper bags, nursing bras, or babyfood prunes. The day the youngest one went to full-day kindergarten I got on my knees and said, SSHHH Lord, don't say a word, let's just enjoy the quiet! And we did!
Totally Agree!
My mom always said that while she loved every stage of our growing-up years, her favorite was definitely having adult children. I told her that was because adult children usually come with grandchildren and that was what she really liked! But I have to say now that my two are grown and out on their own, having adult children is pretty great. I'm still their mom but we are much better friends now...and really enjoy each other's company. Now about those grandchildren....
AMEN!
Mine are 8, 4, and 2.... I have been tired and in survival mode for 8 years... I do look at my 2-year-old and sometimes wish for him to be that tiny, precious baby who was IMMOBILE... but only if I could have that time without the sleepless nights, infinite diaper changes, spitting up, etc....
Looking forward to a little more freedom myself, although the challenges will be tougher and, well, more challenging!
~C
Can I just add. . . .
. . . that I am desperately IN LOVE with my sweet boys, can't imagine life without them and enjoy those sweet cuddly moments that I know will disappear when they are teenagers.
I'm just saying that the more independent they become the less exhausted I seem to be. So I am a bit more able to actually enjoy them when they are doing something cute instead of wishing I could be asleep. ha ha ha
Priscilla
Priscilla, My children
Priscilla,
My children are now 16, 14, 10 and 9....long gone are the days of strollers, diapers, baby food, crying, naps, throwing up everywhere in the middle of the night(always this way for us!), taking forever to get ready to go somewhere and then usually having to leave early!...and this is some of what the Lord has taught me in looking back...and it was so demanding! It was very hard for me to find "joy" in some of the "day to day" of it all. I was so glad when everyone could tie their own shoes, brush their own teeth, and maybe the biggest deal of all, me just say "get in the car" and they could!!! The memories/pictures of those days are a joy and treasure to me now. The demands that came with that season, I don't miss, but am now so blessed by! Through those intense years I really came to know my children and they know me. I will warn you, as they grow, I believe they need us more!! In different ways, but I can tell you my teenagers still "need" Mama! It comes more in the form of having their clothes clean, food, necessary school supplies, and a home where their friends are welcome. I had in my mind they would need me less and less, and this is not the case. This mothering thing is such a challenge, and such a blessing!! Enjoy those boys of yours Priscilla! The early years become sweeter and sweeter as time goes by.
i understand...
PRiscilla, I thought it was just me. I love the stage where they can talk and walk and they are learning new things everyday. Then their personalities sstart developing, it is such an exciting time. they say silly things, everyday is something new.
Absolutely right there with you!
My girls are 9 and 11 and they are so much fun -- but they were handfuls as babies. I often felt that I would never sleep again or sit through a meal. But now I am waking them up on the weekends and when they want some more milk during dinner, I remind them that God gave them legs for a reason. Those baby days are so fleeting, and that's wonderful in some ways, and sad in others. I sometimes find myself wishing I had relaxed and enjoyed it more - but when I look at pictures from back then I see a happy, loving mommy with two beautiful, relatively well-behaved, smiling, well-cared for little girls. So I must have been doing something right, even though I was too in the weeds to really notice.
Great post! Thanks for all that you do, Priscilla!
I can TOTALLY understand...
Ms P,
When my girls, who are just 19 mos apart, were babies I enjoyed them but I was also tired, regimented with schedules, stressed, overwhelmed, & scared I'd break them LOL. A good friend of mine said that when her kids were little she would just pray to get her youngest past age 3. You know, talking, potty trained, weaned, put their own clothes on, etc. Then she would just be able to enjoy motherhood. Thank God for this Sister, because that helped me to relax by knowing it wasn't just me. So when my youngest did get to 3 years old, I did have a sigh of relief. It was a whole different world past those baby-baby years.
Now, my oldest is 13, the youngest daughter, 12 & we've added a boy who is now 7. I still have a box that I can pull out, sometimes with them, to look at the outfit that they came home from the hospital in or took their 1st steps in or the rattle toy they just loved or that picture they drew of me when they were 2.
I'm so proud of the people they are becoming. It definitely is a journey.
Amen!
Amen from me too!! I love my boys so incredibly much, but, at ages 8 and 4, I am glad that some of the tediousness is over. I love seeing their personalities just explode! I love seeing what I've been teaching them being put into action. And I love NO MORE DIAPERS!
We have reached the
We have reached the elementary school phase, and as much as I miss those lazy PJ days, with snuggling babies and toddlers, I don't miss the diapers, sleepless nights (which led to the lazy PJ days), feedings, .... We are enjoy talking to our children about their day, watching them grow and become little people in their own right. The church nursery is where I get my baby fix.
a blessing
i have no children, but i can imagine everyday would be a blessing(i hope!)They are growing up and lucky to have you as a mom.
phases and daisies
LOVE the picture of your boys, Priscilla! They are too cute. As mom to six, ages 6 mo-19 yrs., I sure am loving my baby stage more now than ever. Having said that, I COMPLETELY understand what you are talking about; in the summer of 2004, I had three children in diapers. Yikes is right! Enough said on that. But one of my children has a rare disease which is neurologically degenerative and incurable. That fact causes us to live in the light of eternity. Each day is precious and making the most of every single one is the highest priority. I know you do that, Priscilla! It's obvious in your teaching. Onward moms who live in the real world and continually fight the battle of balance! :)
AMEN...YES MAM!
Yes mam'..I totally agree..as a matter of fact..I am singing right now..*cue organ*..AMEN, AMEN, AAAAMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!" LOL!!!!! I am on the same page, boat, everything with ya Priscilla! I do love my kids, but I do not feel bad at ALL when people say, "AWW..they are growing up so fast..you are going to miss these years...and I reply.."No, I will not!" I soooo support you Priscilla! Independence is not bad thing to look foward to with children. In fact, I lok foward to seeing them, 6 and 2, grow into beautiful women and have a relationship that my mother and I now have. Don't feel bad at all...in fact..I stand and applaud you for being honest..and for all the other moms who feel the same way....*clap, clap, clap, clap..whoo-hoo!"
I'm so there
My husband and I have a 5 year old, 3 1/2 year old, and 16 month old and are trying to decide whether we want just one more. (Well, I'm trying to decide--he would have 10 kids if I would go for it). At our annual beach vacation this summer, I asked my sister if it was wrong to base the decision of a 4th child solely on the fact that if we didn't have one, beach vacations could only get easier from this point forward.
So that's where I sit--catching a glimpse of what life will be like when the baby years are behind us and trying to decide if I'm ready for it now of if I want just one more. (Of course, the way my 16 month old has been acting lately, I'd say he's making a pretty compelling argument for being the last child : ) I am exhausted!
AMEN!
Hi Priscilla,
Love your honesty!!
I love my three boys (yes, three boys too!) but I definitely have enjoyed them more as they have gotten older. They are now 21, 19 and 16 and life is sweet! Not perfect, but so much easier. They do their own laundry!
I've always said, "My job as a mom is to work myself out of a job." I will always be their mother, but I've tried to teach them as much as I can about doing life, so that I can be finished doing the mommy chores as soon as possible :)
YES!
I agree! I like to say that every stage so far is better than the last! I only have a 4 yr old and I find myself nostalgic once or twice a year, but otherwise- I'm so thankful mine can talk back to me, learn to obey and do and just interact fully! Thanks for putting this into words!!!
I've always felt kinda guilty for wanting him to hurry up and grow... but really- its just about embracing the NOW and not the past - or even the future!
Blessings!
Tiffany
Love 'em
Yes I love my boys too. They are now 10 & 13 and I am beginning to like this stage in their lives more & more. Just 6 months ago God gave me an aha moment. He said 'Alexis, look at Jaylen. He's growing into a wonderful young man. Enjoy your time with him, stop sweating the small stuff, & pay attention to detail.' You see I only have 5 more years with him in my house & he'll be off to college. I don't want to be the mom who dreads the day he leaves or cries herself all the way home after I drop him off. I don't want him to think I don't want him to grow up or to stay close to home because that's what I want for his life.
So God is helping me to deal with that now. I sometimes look at him & feel so proud of him. My eyes begin to swell up with tears & my face is full of so much joy. Although I don't let him see me like that, I thank God for allowing me to gradually miss him & he's not even gone. I hope this helps me when it's time for my husband & I to drop him off at his college of choice - right now it's Univ of Florida! In the meantime, I am enjoying both of their active little lives & fussing less. 'Cause once their gone there's no turning back. Let's enjoy each stage God gives us!
Like you, I do not miss those
Like you, I do not miss those "diaper" years. I have two boys, now 8 and 11 years and they continue to bring new experiences into my life. My philosophy has been to embrace and be "present" in those stages of life when they come, or as long as your mom sanity allows. If not, you will long for the past and miss what's going on with them right now. My boys continue to amuse both my husband and I. I agree that being able to hold a conversation with them is much less frustrating... most of the time. I personally celebrate each new birthday; as it is a milestone for them as growing boys and me as a mom. I think "made it through another year and they're still smiling". Amen for that. It's great to know that I am among friends. May God continue to bless you and your family. You continue to be an inspiration for me. Thank you for that.
Post new comment