You may not know her face, but you sing her songs (Your Love Never Fails). She is an eclectic, self-title “hippie-mom” who has lived through difficulty that many others may never experience. As we dialogued, her eyes sparkled with depth and her words were imbued with whispers of hope – the kind that can only be mined in dark nights and deep valleys.
She was refreshing.
This is her sweet baby girl, Luca Gold. She was alive for forty minutes after her birth; much longer than doctors thought she would, or could live.
Luca was born without a portion of her skull – a condition called anencephaly. There is no explanation or cure. All Christa could do was cuddle with her until her lungs expelled their last breath. And then, in the weeks and months that followed, Christa had to decide how to move forward . . . in marriage, in motherhood (she has two little ones – Moses and Birdie), and in her relationship with God.
And that was the big question that hung like a woolen blanket over this tragic event. It’s the same question that hangs over all of our desperate and difficult circumstances.
What will we do with God when things go wrong?
She spoke of how it would have been easy and even comforting to push Him “across the line” where she could blame and accuse Him for letting this happen. “Across the line” where He’d be associated as a willing cohort with the evil and sickness and death that had stolen her baby. It seemed reasonable that this should be her response to God. At least that is what her anger and sadness told her.
And yet, God’s love wouldn’t let her escort Him there. He won her heart with whispers of hope, echoes of grace and an enduring reminder that He was as saddened as she was at this whole ordeal. In fact, He was even more distressed than she was or could ever be . . . because these devastating realities were exactly what He shed His blood to redeem.
He was on her side – His heart breaking along with hers.
So, she choose to do what all of us must do when life takes detours and devastating turns – keep Him close and press into Him with a new urgency. That’s right – we must press in instead of push away. We must remember that He is NEVER against us. He is alongside of us always – when evil, sickness and even death sneak in and make their presence known.
Thank you for your example and encouragement Christa. Little “Goldie” did not die in vain. Her memory and impact lives on through you.
PS . . . Did you notice that Christa is getting read to have another baby? Her delivery date is imminent. Pray with me that labor and delivery will be peaceful and smooth.
PSS . . . Can’t wait for you to see my whole interview with Christa on The Chat With Priscilla. Airing soon.