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I was recently reading a news story on the demise of Al and Tipper Gore's marriage, when a phrase caught me off guard. "For anyone still left who believes in happily ever after," blah blah blah...." The writer went on to talk about how there are no fairy tale endings and how pretty much everyone will eventually break up. It was very depressing.

I guess was taken aback to realize that people seem to just take for granted that no one lives happily ever after anymore. I suppose it's easy to look around and be convinced of it, what with all the affairs and growing apart and having to find yourself as reasons to end marriages.

Sigh.

Well, today my husband and I are celebrating our 27th anniversary, and I simply beg to differ with that author.  I'd really hate to think we'd invested all this time and happiness for no good reason. See, we actually signed on for "forever," and didn't stop to think we could just walk away if we felt like it. Not that there haven't been some low moments.  But 27 years gives a person pretty good perspective on both the "happily" part and the "ever after" part of the deal.

I'll grant you, perhaps the "happily" part is a bit misleading. If by "happily" you mean "skipping down a flowered path of life as you raise beautiful and smart children while enjoying a higher than average income level and maintaining your attractive figure," you'll most likely be sorely disappointed. If, however, you mean "building a life with someone and being willing to stick it out through the tough times because there is something beautiful about two people who love each other against the odds and who are ok with life not being exactly what they pictured and still find joy in it" well then, you're probably pretty close to its true meaning. It makes me wonder if changing our definition of happiness wouldn't be a good idea for all marriages in general. It's a thought.

Tom and I are still living out the "ever after" part.  With 27 years into it, I refuse to accept that just because many marriages fail, ALL marriages will.  As I look back over the years and see how God has been faithful to us, even when we've faltered, I can't help but feel so very grateful.  He's helped us to find strength in one another, to accept each other's flaws and be each other's biggest cheerleaders. We've chosen to find ways to grow with one another, rather than apart from one another. We've raised children who love Jesus, and who love being together as a family. Sure, there have been disappointments and heartaches along the way, but there have also been exquisitely beautiful times, great adventures and a lot of everyday stuff to savor. And there has been joy - in and around and through everything, especially when we've chosen to find it.

There have even been some flowered paths to skip down.

I wish I could tell the gloomy author of that article that, yeah, there are STILL people camping out in the "happily ever after" group. Those of us who believe in happy endings should be loud and proud - and not feel ashamed to think that it still happens. We should tell every person who is single to hold out for God's best, every divorced person not to give up hope, and every married person to hang in there a little longer.  Look for joy wherever you are at, and don't be surprised when happiness finds you.

I still believe. Do you?

Rachel

Hi ya'll! I had the pleasure of sitting down with my good friend, Kirk Franklin the other day, and one of the things we talked about was singleness. I wanted to get his perspective about single women, so I asked him a few questions. He had some great (and funny!) insight that I know you'll enjoy watching:

Kirk Franklin - Singleness from Going Beyond on Vimeo.

If you're just joining in on this conversation, we've been talking about singleness for the past couple of weeks. Check out these recent posts and interviews to catch up!

Anthony Evans

Mandisa

Jason Illian, from The Bachelorette

Michelle McKinney Hammond

Single Talk Continues

Priscilla and Linnae

Kari Jobe

Kirk challenged some of the things we've been talking about. What are your thoughts about what he said?

Priscilla

It's Rachel, here.  Can we discuss "home decor" today? Good, I thought you might want to!

As an artist, I'm often asked to help friends decorate their personal spaces, like Priscilla's office. I'm always glad to help, but I have to give a huge disclaimer that I'm not an ACTUAL interior designer - just someone who enjoys making things look good.  I've learned a few tricks from the real experts I've worked with, and the first one is this:

Start with an inspiration piece.

It could be a piece of fabric from a sofa or drapery.

It could be a furniture piece that you love:

A famous painting:

Or a collection from Pottery Barn:

It could be a rug you found at Home Depot, or a vase from Target with that perfect shade of blue-green in it. Your inspiration could even be a place, like a vacation spot or a restaurant. The point is, having a starting point is vital to pulling together a room you'll love.  When I'm working on a decorating project, I'll often carry bits of fabric, paint chips and photos in my purse so I can make decisions based on my goal, and not on a moment of emotional weakness. "But it's on sale!" is usually not a good enough reason to pull something into the mix that I'll regret later.

All this decorating talk has made me think of keeping "spiritual inspiration" on hand. For example, carrying scriptures around in my purse or car keeps me focused on the goal of being heavenly minded.  They remind me to choose what is important, and what will please the Lord.  Having a clear picture of "what would Jesus do?" can only come when I spend time getting to know him in his Word. And surrounding myself with other believers who exhibit Christlikeness in their lives inspires me to keep working on making my life beautiful - inside and out. It's the same principle as decorating, except a whole lot more important.

While Priscilla and I work on finding the right inspiration piece for her office, let me ask you: what inspires YOU? How does having inspiration make a difference in your life? Do you inspire others?

Every now and then, my sweet friend Shundria, sends me incredible emails that stir my heart and get me thinking. I've been pressuring her to preserve all of her thoughts because I can certainly see a book in her future. Until then, I want to share some of her sentiments with you.
I opened up my email to find this touching account of a day in her life with three small children and how this busy season has changed both her and her husband.

Read and Enjoy!

Priscilla

PS  . . . you can and should follow Shundria on twitter. Get her hilarious and touching posts on life @shundriap

Today I said to my man, "that was fun!" He said, "yes it was!" We both smiled and said, "it was soo worth it" 

This weekend, I'll be with some of my favorite people in Denver. Women from everywhere will be converging in Colorado for the Deeper Still Event. I gotta tell you, I'm more excited about hearing Beth Moore and Kay Arthur teach, and Travis Cottrell and the team lead worship more than anything. If I could just sit and receive, I'd be delighted. And yet, for some strange reason, God has asked me to partner with Him on this and I'm the better for it.

I always leave enriched and filled to the brim as God's presence never fails to rain down upon us from the very first moment on the very first day.

I've been asking God to be clear on what I should teach when I take the platform on Saturday morning. I'm always looking for sense of God's Spirit drawing me to a certain passage and theme. While I'd like to tell you that I'm organized enough to already have my message mapped out from A-Z, I don't.  (Kids are out of school now remember?) But at least I've had a thought or two that have been brewing in my heart.

For instance, there are over 8000 promises in the Bible for the children of God, and yet most of them He didn't place in our hands but chose rather to place them within our reach. In other words, while he could have chosen to simply let us realize them without any participation on our part, he decided to make us have to participate with him, and exert a measure of faith before we could. We actually have to engage with Him and choose to follow Him, yield to Him and trust Him. And I'm finding that it is to the extent that we do this, we can expect to realize God's promises in our every day living.

Reminds me of the children of Israel under Joshua's leadership. God told them (Joshua 1:3) that He'd give them every place on which the sole of their foot treaded. Canaan was already theirs but they'd only get to enjoy as much as they had the faith to go walk on. Yes, the promise of Canaan had been given but it wasn't placed in their hands; it was within their reach. 

Have you had to step out in faith and follow God in some radical way that set you up to experience Him in a way you wouldn't have otherwise? I'm dying to know about it.

Priscilla

PS. . . . if this post makes absolutely no sense to you, then that's your cue to have pity on me and beg God to give my poor, exhausted, summer-mom self clarity before this weekend!

Isa. 40:31 They who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
   they shall walk and not faint.

Ps. 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him

I have such a hard time waiting. I deplore waiting in long lines, and will skip after-Christmas blowout sales and back-to-school extravaganzas just to avoid them.  I hate sitting in doctor's waiting rooms and looking at five year old Golf Digest Magazines. I REALLY don't like waiting for repair people to come - sometime between 12 and 6 pm. And to think I have to wait 1.5 minutes for the microwave to heat water for tea! It's just too much, I tell you.

That's why my eyes always seem to be drawn to the "waiting" scriptures in the Bible.  The Lord must know I need patience in my life and He makes sure those verses jump off the pages at me.

You see, so much of life is a "go, go, go" adrenaline rush of accomplishment. Things to do, places to go, people to see...our lives are filled to the brim with activity. We want to take life by the horns and make things happen - why it's the American Way!. What a shock to the system it is when God says, "Wait."

Wait for that ministry opportunity.

Wait for that longed-for baby.

Wait for a promotion.

Wait for a husband.

Wait for healing.

Wait for a new job.

Wait for your God-given vision to come to pass.

When God asks us to cool our heels and wait on Him, we need to remember that His timing is always right. When our desires line up with His will, He will cause circumstances to be orchestrated at exactly the right moment that will bring about that "thing" we are waiting on. His power and His glory are never late, His grace is never wasted, His arm is never short, His love never fails.  He is not bound by our timeframe, but excels in surprising us with His goodness - on His own terms, which far exceeds our expectations.

Are you waiting on God? The Bible is full of promises for those who wait on Him. I've shared two: can you add to my list today to encourage others who are in the waiting?

Rachel

There's a new "jewel" in the Jewelry Box!  Pour a cup of coffee or tea and let it speak to your heart today. Then feel free to let me know about the priorities that are challenging you. Plants - or people??

Blessings, Priscilla

Hey there friend,

Couldn't help but write to you today. Something happened this past week that I just can't seem to get off my mind.

I'll be honest, it's mostly because it has to do with a snake. Now, if you are a stranger to me, you might need to be made aware of my enormous aversion to snakes. I despise them. In fact, it's not just an actual snake I despise, it's the thought of one that is enough to drive me straight to me knees. So, it's no surprise that, that's exactly where I've been over the past two years that we've lived in our little rural neighborhood. Since we know they are on this property, I've just been praying that neither I nor one of my boys run into one. The very thought sends shivers down my spine.

Your's too, huh?

So, we've been on guard on our little rustic plot of land. We've laid out some products designed to keep snakes at bay and we are sure to watch where we are walking and to stay out of tall brush where they could be hiding. We keep the grass cut low and don't leave our garage door up for hours on end, either. (No need to give any critter easy access to the house.) Yes, we've done a pretty good job guarding ourselves.

That's why, last week, when my husband Jerry sent me this picture, I was floored.

You see, he found and (gratefully) killed this sucker when he ran into it at our office. You heard me right: our office. Not our home that is in the country, but our office that is right in the heart of the city. No dirt roads and gravel driveways there. Just a concrete jungle where wildlife isn't even a part of the normal mental equation. While we were standing on guard in one place, the serpent showed up in a place we least expected, and really hadn't even considered he might.

Hmmm. . . sounds like another weasely snake I know. Seems like the enemy of our souls has a knack for finding the unguarded, vulnerable areas of our lives - the ones you hadn't even contemplated that he'd mess with - as the prime spot to show up and take you off guard. While we standing steady and watchfully, being certain to cut him off at one path, he's already started his descent down another.

Lord, today keep us aware - not just in the places we expected him but more importantly. . .in the places we don't.

Priscilla

Priscilla ought to be proud of me.  Back in October, when she asked me to help write on her blog, I promised that I would keep stories about my donkey Flash, to a minimum. And I've kept my word, mostly because I was worried that fame might go to his (already) enormous head, but also I figured that Going Beyond readers might be too high-brow for his silliness.  But since Priscilla and her boys love Flash, I thought maybe you might, too - once you get to know him.

See, Flash showed up at our place one day, and then never left.  All attempts to find his rightful owners failed, and the temporary shelter we gave him that first night has turned into permanent residence for the shabby dude.  Endlessly entertaining, we consider him "yard art," a great conversation piece for those times when you run out of things to say in awkward guest situations. "Hey, did you hear about the time Flash turned up at the gate with a haircut?"  But that story will be for another day.

Flash has many endearing qualities.  His soft brown eyes and white muzzle are able to express his deep thoughts about life, which he'll reluctantly share over a carrot or apple. Somehow I think he knows quite a bit about the world, borne of his experience with life on the lam before finding us, and life in the back woods and open pastureland since taking up residence here.  Affectionate and sweet, he is a sucker for an ear scratch and a good brushing.

But Flash is far from perfect.  Like most of us, he has his issues.  For instance, he is self-centered and thinks that everything is all about him.  He is convinced that the cute mares across the fence are in love with him, and thinks that the whole reason we live in Texas is so that we can house him.  He lets us know, in no uncertain terms, when he needs something.  We can hear his impossibly loud braying from a quarter mile away.  Sometimes he just brays to remind us that he's there, as if we could forget.

One thing that Flash has a hard time dealing with is change.  Not long ago his barn privileges were taken away, and he retaliated by sneaking back in and destroying the sports equipment that took over his stall.  He did this many times, and we never could figure out how he got in.  He's stomped on boxes of Christmas decor that were temporarily set by the gate, waiting to be stored, and made a nuisance of himself when new fences were being put up. He likes things just the way they are, and doesn't like when they change.  I guess he's just stubborn that way.

Like Flash, I find that I balk at change, too.  I become comfortable with the status quo and it makes me a little nuts when things start to change.  It seems like just when I'm getting used to where God has me and what He has me doing, along comes a new plan of action.  Something that's just outside my comfort zone.  It's a little scary! And just like my silly donkey, I'm having to learn to trust that Someone has a bigger plan than what I can see.  I'm learning to rest in the knowledge that God has things in control - and I have no reason to fear. In the same way that we've given shelter and care to Flash, my heavenly Father is sheltering me and caring for me, even as He calls me on to new seasons in my life.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." What an awesome promise!

How about you? Are you in a season of change?  What is your response when God asks you to do something that is just outside your comfort zone? What have you learned about God when you've had to step into new areas of life? I hope you'll share.

Rachel

For freedom everywhere, we remember and honor the men and women who have given their lives in service to their country. Thank you.