A Beautiful Dance
February 2005
It was a beautiful dance. These two,
one man and one woman, had been doing
this for years. The choreography was
exhilarating to watch. Every step
was in sync, every turn was impeccable,
every move was breath taking and every
sway was filled with passion.
It was my fourth anniversary and I
decided that Jerry and I needed to
do something fun, different and interesting
to take the place of the normal "dinner
and a movie". I had decided that
taking a Salsa dancing lesson would
be interesting and indeed it was.
Along with my sister and her husband
we learned for one hour the basics
of salsa dancing. We had to count
and make sure we were in step with
our partner. As we danced, our instructor
spent most of his time talking to
our husbands; reminding them of the
importance of leading us. He helped
them get the beat down, hear their
cues and know their counts. The most
frequent and important advice that
he gave us was, "Let your husband
lead". Over and over again, he
reminded us that the entire basis
of salsa dancing was the man taking
the lead and the woman submissively
following. In order for the dance
to be the passion filled show of grace
and joy that it was meant to be, the
woman must relax and be lead by the
capable hands of her partner. That's
why he spent so much time with them.
They were the backbone of the dance.
I must admit, this was the hardest
part of the lesson for me. In my opinion,
my husband was a little to slow on
the turns. He wasn't counting right
and wasn't giving me the cues that
the instructor had said were necessary
to be a good leader. In my small little
ways, I was trying to help him out
and guide him into the right movements
and even assist him in cueing me to
do my turns. I ended up guiding myself!
And then the class was over. That
was when we got to see the real thing
and it was indeed a beautiful dance.
These two, one man and one woman,
who had been at this for years. Everything
was impeccably done and it was fascinating.
Our instructor called his dance partner
and they gave us a little show. For
a few moments we were engrossed in
a visual parade of fancy footwork,
turns and acrobatics that left us
breathless. The brilliance we witnessed
was reserved only for the most skilled
dancers. Afterward, we begged for
an encore and asked lots of questions.
The lady who had partnered with our
instructor looked pleased with her
work and somewhat shocked at how nicely
it had turned out. We asked her why
she seemed as astounded as we were.
She explained that when dancing with
her partner, she doesn't know what
they are going to do until they start
dancing. Every step of the way, she
is guided by his cues, carefully responding
to each signal. She turns when he
lifts her hands. She walks forward
when his hand guides her by slightly
pressing into the small of her back.
She pays close attention to his leading
and then simply follows. She cannot
create her own independent moves or
it won?t work. She must simply trust
his leading and his ability to follow
the count and construct a dance that
will please the watching audience.
The passion of the dance only comes
when the leader leads and the follower
follows. If either does not do their
part the dance will fail miserably
My husband and I have been "dancing"
for six years now. I must admit that
I don't have my part down yet. I'm
always trying to lead because just
like the day we took our one and only
Salsa lesson it's clear to me that
he doesn't really know his footwork
well enough yet. In my opinion, his
timing is a little off and he keeps
missing his cues. So, I often take
over someone times overtly and other
times just in my little small manipulating
ways. Mind you, this is my first "lesson".
I can barely do my part well but as
always I try to do his too. But every
time I try to take the lead I hear
my Instructor tap me on the shoulder
and remind me that the dance will
only work if the leader leads and
the follower follows. My job is to
watch, wait and be prepared for my
cue to move. I've learned and am still
learning that when I do my part our
steps are impeccable, turns immaculate
and the dance beautiful.
"Therefore a man . . .shall cleave
unto his wife and the two shall be
one flesh" Genesis 2:24
"Wives submit yourselves to your
husbands as unto the Lord. For the
husband is head of the wife, even
as Christ is head of the church."
Ephesians 5:22-23
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