Separated From My Son
February 2006
Magic Kingdom, Disney World
I was so glad to get the invitation to speak in Orlando, Florida. It would be exciting to bring my boys along with my husband and me and spend a couple of days "playing" before the conference began. We arrived at a little hotel not far from all of the theme parks at Disney World and decided that the Magic Kingdom was the spot for us. Since our boys were 3 and 1 year old, it seemed that it was most suited for their ages. We looked forwarded to two full days of fun.
The first day we arrived, we were all mesmerized by the sights and sounds of this magical world of fun. I immediately began to reminisce, recalling the scene decades earlier when I walked these same paths as a child. I was overwhelmed to now have my children in this place. They enjoyed the rides, food and over-sized Disney characters who marched freely around the theme park. They took in every sight and sound of the wonders of this new world.
They particularly enjoyed the smaller closed off areas outfitted with slides, jungle gym equipment and water effects suited to small children. The smaller "parks" within the Magic Kingdom were an oasis of fun for little ones and a cocoon of rest for parents. Since there was only one way in and out of the area it was far more protected for these little ones than the major park just outside its boundaries. We could all catch our breath as we sat on the benches surrounding the gated area and gladly allowed our children to entertain themselves. My boys became fascinated by the Winnie the Pooh themed section. They ran into the enclosed play area and had a blast. In and out of water falls they ran and under huge tunnels. My oldest found the jungle gym on the far side of the park and climbed up quickly to slide down. He giggled as he made his landing on the artificial grass covering. Again and again he made his ascent and descent down the slide. After a few moments, his little brother spotted the fun that Jackson had found. The little one unsteadily scampered over and tried to make his way up the ladder just like his brother had. I knew that he could not safely do this on his own. Immediately I flew into motion. Not wanting him to miss out on any of the fun his brother was having, I left my comfortable resting spot, went around to the back of the jungle gym and aided my little one in climbing up. I scaled the ladder with him and walked him across the bridge that led to the enclosed slide. I seated him on my lap and we slid down together. He landed with a huge giggle and a smile.
It has taken a couple minutes to assist my 1 year old so when we finished sliding I immediately looked around to find Jackson. I looked back up to the top of the jungle gym assuming that he was probably set for another descent. He wasn't there. I checked the back of the jungle gym and didn't see him there either. I called his name and didn't hear an answer. I peered in the tunnels and in the water in which he had earlier been running. My heart began to beat a little faster as I scooped my youngest into my arms for safe keeping while I searched for Jackson. I ran to the back of the play area and looked forward so that I could scan the whole area for him at once. I asked the other mothers who were sitting nearby if they had seen my son. They hadn't. One by one they kindly began to get up and help me with my search. Soon, all of the parents in the area were looking for Jackson. The Disney World attendant stationed at this area came over to assist by asking me all of the questions that a mother never wants to be asked, "What did he have on? What name does he answer to?" With each question she asked, more and more panic set in. I broke down into a pool of tears and sobbed uncontrollably.
It quickly began apparent that Jackson was not in the play area anymore. I stepped over the threshold from the small enclosed square to the Magic Kingdom Theme Park. Through the tears, I looked to my left and saw thousands of people engrossed in their excitement, cotton candy and balloons. A look to the right revealed more of the same. My hopes were dashed as my sweet boy was no where to be seen. The fear of those moments cannot be described.
It would be almost 15 minutes later before he would be found. The horror, heartache and sheer terror that I experienced in those moments can only be known by another mother who has faced that same situation. Those 15 minutes brought horrible thoughts of what could be happening to my son and where he could be. As each of those minutes passed I became more and more certain that I would never see my son again. In those 15 minutes, I begged God with a passion I had never known to please bring Jackson back. I never want to experience separation from either one of my boys in that way again.
With the ordeal over but the searing burn in my chest still present I was paralyzed with emotion and thanking the Father for his mercy and protection. The tears continued to stream down my face as I sat cuddling both of my children. Then the Lord spoke, "Priscilla, can you imagine what it was like for me when I willingly gave my only son to be tortured and to die for you?" I do not know the torment in the Father's heart when He "made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin so that we could be made right with God through Christ." (2 Cor. 5:21) but now I can at least imagine it. The moments of separation I had endured and the torturous heartache I had experienced was nothing to be compared with the heart break of the Father when He chose to separate Himself from His Son for my sake.
Now, when Jackson and Jerry Jr. are safely playing, I don't just thank God for my sons. I thank God for His.
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