The Blessing of Pain

June 2007

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope--Romans 5:3-4 (ESV).

A jovial rosy-cheeked young girl bounded across the set of a widely popular television talk show to make her way to the couch next to her parents. I had seen the whole thing from the beginning. The proud mother and father had already been there for quite a while talking with the host about their precious little girl. Their description of her sounded much like those of all adoring parents who want nothing more than the best for their children. Yet, their stories of normal childhood activities were peppered with eerie tales of a disorder that had ravaged their youngster since her birth.

Hers is a rare disease. One might not even know it existed without hearing it discussed, but it couldn’t be missed as soon as the girl stepped from behind the curtain and into public view. Her chubby smiling face seemed a bit weathered. There were some bruises and scars that told a story of their own. Her right eye was patched and bandaged to cover the gashes and discoloration, and her toothless grin was molded into the expression that accompanies the elderly who have lost their teeth.  I felt my blood pressure rise as she walked across the stage. I’m sure that anyone watching did. How could this much damage be done to a child. Certainly the disorder I heard the parents explain wasn’t the cause of all this.

My heart ached and pulse raced as I folded a pile full of clean laundry during the commercial break. My body was busy but my mind had slowed. I was consumed with thoughts and questions, eager to have each one of them answered. My internal conversation was interrupted when the commercial telling me I’d used the wrong detergent ended, and the talk show began again. I sat down on the edge of my bed, my husband’s crumpled t-shirt in hand, and listened. The parents explained.   Soon after their daughter’s birth, it was discovered that she had a rare disorder that would keep her from feeling any pain. A scraped knee on the playground or burnt tongue on a cup of hot soup would go unnoticed by her nerves, deadened, and unresponsive. At first the news stunned her parents, but they soon settled into a nest of peace at the thought of having to never worry about their child enduring physical agony. The mother described how she initially felt blessed that this phenomenon could be their lot. Yet, her enthusiasm soon turned to despair as the months of her little girl’s life crept on.

First, some hot coffee spilled, burning her 3 month old baby soft skin as it leaked steadily from a coffee table from which she could not get out from under. She didn’t cry for help because she didn’t feel anything. Now her flesh was scalded. When she discovered the fun of using her own hands, she began to pry at her eyes, freeing the one on the right from its socket. When her teeth came in, she began to unknowingly bite through her own lips and tongue, leaving her parents no other option than to have all of her teeth removed. Since there is no pain, there is no threshold that cannot be crossed; no boundary that cannot be broken; and no need to request the assistance of someone who can offer the help needed to stay safe.  Tears streamed down this loving mother’s face as she stroked her daughters blond hair. How she longed that her life could include the blessing of pain.

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Job hated it and David despised it. Abraham could have done without it, and Job certainly would have appreciated the steady happiness he’d always had instead of experience it. And you and I—we couldn’t agree more. We don’t like pain.

From the beginning of time until now the discomfort that accompanies the meeting of our bodies or souls with a substance that causes it hurt is avoided at all cost. Except for the occasional exercise poster exclaiming “No Pain, No Gain,” the vast majority of our thinking is trained to steer clear of anything that will cause us soreness.  Pain is the enemy and we wonder why any parent would want the child that they love to experience it. Wouldn’t life be better without it?

Maybe Hannah has the answer; her soul ripped and torn under the weight of a barren womb and the torturous constant taunting of her rival.

              . . . she was greatly distressed and prayed to the Lord . . .—1 Samuel 1:10

Or possibly Job, his heart frayed at the loss of his family and livelihood. His body sore from top to bottom with oozing boils.

              . . .I had heard of Him, but now my eyes have seen Him . . .—Job 42:5

Could David’s poetic heart song in the face of insurmountably painful odds give us a hint at the blessing of pain. . .

              . . .I would have despaired unless I believed . . .—Psalm 27:13

Jeremiah, weeping and wailing, his heart and soul in deep anguish at the thought of the destruction of his beloved people and nation called out. . .

              . . .there is a balm in Gilead . . .—Jeremiah 8:22

Stephen, his body snapping like a twig under the weight of the boulders being sent crashing down on his limbs cried out in agony. . .

              . . .I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing. . .—Acts 7:55

And of course there’s Paul and Silas, shackled to the walls of a rusty Roman jail, backs freshly bruised from the beating, and the skin on their ankles blackened from tightly strung chains . . .

              . . .about midnight [they] were praying and singing hymns of praise . . .Acts 16:25

Possibly the message is just as clear; the mystery as easily unravel when no words are spoken.  She never spoke; the woman, embarrassed and humiliated, having been caught by the Pharisees in the very act of adultery. She just looked into the soft, caring eyes of the One who didn’t throw a stone (but had every right to) and heard,

               . . .just go and sin no more . . .John 8:11

She said nothing; she just sat in the fresh wound caused by humiliation of the worst kind, listened, and left His presence brand new.

Mysteriously there seems to be a blessing in pain. It causes us to check the barometer of our activities and clearly see the reality of our circumstances. It forces us to see who we trust in rescue us. Pain is. . .well. . .painful, but ironically it is the gift that keeps us from further discomfort. When we feel it, it becomes a teacher pointing us to the only correct Answer there is. And so, our Father, like any loving parent, desires for us the blessing of pain to keep us, comfort us, humble us, teach us, and drive us back to Him in deep need of the great love from the One who loves unconditionally and can rescue.

It will be a sign and a witness to the Lord of hosts in the land of Egypt. When they cry to the Lord because of oppressors,  he will send them a savior and defender, and deliver them –Isaiah 19:20 (ESV).

When disasters strike, famine or catastrophe, crop failure or disease, locust or beetle, or when an enemy attacks their defenses—calamity of any sort—any prayer that’s prayed from anyone at all among your people Israel, their hearts penetrated by disaster, hands and arms thrown out for help to this Temple, listen from your home in heaven, forgive and reward us: reward each life and circumstance. For you know each life from the inside, (you’re the only one with such inside knowledge!), So they’ll live before you in lifelong reverence and believing obedience on this land you gave our ancestors—2 Chronicles 6:28-21 (The Message).