Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous Note Dropper Off-er:

Thank you for your second unsigned note in my mailbox:

From the deep scratching of the pen into the paper, I deduce that you are becoming bitter at my lack of response to your first note. Obviously, you do not realize that if you'd remembered to leave a phone number or address, I could have easily informed you that I have neither a fence that needs fixing, OR goats that keep trespassing, thus saving you the trouble of angrily scrawling the follow-up note.  I do have one extremely old dog who is far too uninterested in leaving my property, and who could not possibly be mistaken for a goat - I tell you this only in the interest of making certain that there are no misunderstandings.

Let me make this clear. I do not have goats. I cannot imagine why you think I have goats. I do not live next to anyone who has goats. I assure you: if I did have goats, I would most certainly have an adequate fence to keep them from making enemies of perfectly nice neighbors, which I'm sure you are.

Since I can think of no other way to contact you, in order to ask you to please direct your notes elsewhere, I hereby send my response into the world wide web - in the hopes that you will see it here.

Thank you,

Rachel Anne