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Guest Blogger: Valorie Burton | Happy Women Live Better

Valorie Burton | May 01, 2014

If there is one person that I’ve watched galvanize people’s spirit, harness their enthusiasm and spur them on to action, it is Valorie Burton. And, the thing is, she hasn’t just been doing it in recent years – as a writer for Essence Magazine, Personal Life Coach, author of best selling books and motivational speaker – she was doing it in her formative years before anyone ever knew her name and before she had written one book.

Her life has told it’s own story- authentic, vulnerable, beautiful and attention-grabbing.

We met when we were in our early twenties, both headed down similar paths that each of us was still trying to figure out and understand. We stumbled our way along year after year and, without fail, those curvy trails kept intersecting with each other time and time again. We lived parallel lives in alot of ways during those early years. . . and my life is the better for it.

She speaks truth and wraps it in a straight-forward, girl-to-girl kind of way that makes clear her intention to cheer you on to success in every aspect of your life. Her post today is a message that every single one of us needs to be reminded of and encouraged to adapt our life to. Enjoy it and then RUN to grab her books. The will inspire you to change for the better.

You are fiercely loved today,


Valorie Burton

“When you let go of what your life ‘should’ be, you are free to focus on what your life ‘could’ be right now.” – Happy Women Live Better

Dear Friend,

I posted this quote from Happy Women Live Better on my FaceBook fan page a few weeks ago, and it seemed to resonate with a lot of people. A major turning point in my happiness came the day I decided to quit lamenting all the things I thought should be present in my life, but were not. I held tightly to the belief that if I could just have some of the things in my life that I didn’t have, then I could really be happy. That’s when God whispered in my spirit: Be happy right now. Happiness is an attitude we choose regardless of our circumstances. It isn’t always easy, but it is possible to notice and appreciate what you have rather than feeling sorry for yourself over what you don’t. What unfulfilled desire in your life tempts you to feel sorry for yourself? One secret to getting more of what you want is to stop insisting you must have it in order to be happy.  

When you let go of what you think your life “should” be, you can then focus on making your life what it “could” be. Stop noticing everything wrong with your spouse or kids, and start building on what’s right. Quit complaining about the job you want to leave, and start celebrating some aspect of your job that you actually like. Refuse to mope about not being in a relationship, and start having fun and creating adventures that make your life exciting – partner or no partner. Take what you have and make the most of it. When you do, happiness follows. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy – a circle of good. Happiness causes success, not the other way around. So be grateful, enjoy life, and let the good things that follow delightfully surprise you. As you let go of the need to be in control and embrace the good all around you, it is amazing how those unfulfilled desires begin to unfold.

Learning to be happy while you wait for what you want and not just happy when you get it – now, that’s a test of your faith. Will you pass the test? Often, God is just waiting on you to be anxious for nothing and to know the joy of The Lord truly is your strength.

My challenge to you this week:

Let go of what “should” be and take a step towards what “could” be.

Journaling question:

What do you think “should” be in your life right now that isn’t? How has that “should” impacted your happiness? What good could you do in your life if you embraced your life exactly as it is?

Until next time,


Take the happiness test and discover your happiness triggers for free at www.happywomantest.com.