Home » Blog » Guest Blogger: Michelle McKinney Hammond | To Marry or Not to Marry?

Guest Blogger: Michelle McKinney Hammond | To Marry or Not to Marry?

Michelle McKinney Hammond | Jun 19, 2014

I was 24 years old, in a Chicago hotel and battling a fierce bout of writer’s block. The cursor on my computer screen blinked mercilessly, each flash taunting my lack of creativity.

Then the phone rang. . . and it was Michelle McKinney Hammond.

She invited me over to her downtown apartment (she’s since moved to Ghana, Africa) for a writing party. I wasn’t sure what that was actually. Nothing about “writing” matched up with “party” to me but it seem to hold more promise than anything I had going on.

And with Michelle, everything’s a party.

For several hours we sat in her office in our socks and comfy leggings with our laptops on our knees. She was writing another fantastic book for single women and I, at the time, was single.

We bounced ideas off of each other and wrote relentlessly for hours on end. She gave me a few of her creative ideas and my writer’s block got. . .well. . .unblocked. Cork unscrewed. Just like that.

That’s what happens when you are around Michelle – you are inspired to action in some area of your life. Michelle is the author of over 40 different books. She is also a speaker and singer who travels the world with messages that motivate everyone and anyone – but especially the single woman. Listen to me, if you are single run to the store (or to Amazon) and get Sassy, Single and Satisfied, What to Do Until Love Finds You or any of her other amazing offerings. You’ll be so glad you did!

So glad to introduce you to my friend Michelle today. Enjoy every single world of her fantastic blog!

You are fiercely loved!



I have to admit, the first half of my life marriage was on my goal list. Probably more because I thought it was supposed to be than anything else. Yes there was a real desire there for marriage but for all the wrong reasons. The external pressure became greater than my internal desire for marriage. As I grew to embrace my single status, my purpose, pursuing my destiny, and a deeper intimacy with Christ, marriage fell off my goal list and I realized that it wasn’t so much that I wanted to be married… I wanted to be married to the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. At the time I had not met that person. This is when I realized that the end goal should not be just getting married. The end goal should be spending your life with someone that you met who is so wonderful you no longer want to live apart from them. When no one like that is in sight I find that marriage is not on my list of things to do. There is no inspiration for it. I do not want to marry a dream or an oasis. I want to marry a real live man who adds to my world, who challenges me to be a better me, who takes me to a whole new level of understanding the love of God.


I believe it is important to understand the purpose of marriage through God’s eyes in order to put marriage in perspective. Marriage is more about God’s will and kingdom agenda than about our personal desires. God wants to put together power couples that reflect what the kingdom of God looks like and how it works. The intimacy, children, joy and validation we get are all extra perks, company benefits I will say, but they are not the purpose of marriage. With this in mind, those of us who are single need to live each day with great purpose– the goal of becoming the best we can be. Whole, thriving and joyful! Have something to bring to the party called marriage should you reach the altar. The more fulfilled you are as a single the greater your power to choose the right mate. Desperation will never have the advantage of deceiving you to settle for less that the best God has for you. The richer your life as a single person the greater your life will be as a married person. The more fulfilled you are as a single person, the least likely you will be to walk into marriage with unrealistic expectations that threaten to rob your joy and ruin your marriage. Should marriage be a goal? I think not. The goal is being where God wants you to be at any given moment, because that is the best place to be. In His presence is fullness of joy.