Home » Blog » Conflict? Don’t Make It ‘Complicated’

Conflict? Don’t Make It ‘Complicated’

Nov 20, 2013

I’ve watched conflict play out minute by minute, like a sports game, on social media. Relationship statuses will change from ‘single’ to ‘ in a relationship’ to ‘it’s complicated’ and then cycle through the gamut of options available on different networks illustrated by blanket statuses, subtweets and #OOMF replies. On one hand it’s the beauty of social media, the opportunity to share all the time…but on the other hand, it can get pretty ugly because suddenly the whole world is privy to the challenges we face is our relationships.

Alas, this single girl’s not just talking about a dating relationship, but virtually any one that involves consistently relating to another person. True, many of our relationships (personal, professional, family relationship, etc.) are indeed complicated because they involve many different people, circumstances and layers, but I’m learning that if we truly value others to apply truth over emotion every time.

Here’s how I’m learning to address and defy conflict:

Speak the truth…in love: But watch out! Being loving doesn’t mean you sugarcoat the conversation. Step back and make sure you can see all angles of the situation, and if not, get clarification before you keep going.
Re-evaluate when and how you express yourself: The right message at the wrong time can become the wrong message if not delivered correctly. The person you’re reaching out to might not be in a place to hear you clearly, but make sure you’re delivering your communication wisely and in the right voice!
Don’t be afraid to ask for coaching and feedback: This requires a willingness to be receptive to constructive criticism AND to be prepared to change the way you do things.

Addressing conflict may not make you feel better, but navigating relationships are not about feeling better. When dealing with conflict, success won’t always give you the positive outcome you might expect but be confident and make the necessary changes necessary to move forward.

Are there any ‘leaky faucets’ in your relationships with others? Is it a lack of effective communication? An unwillingness to admit or address an offense? Luke 17 packs a big punch and speaks clearly on our duty to forgive! An exception to these steps is when you are in a relationship that is harmful or toxic to you. If this is so, reach out to someone close in your life who can be objective to your situation and offer you practical guidance.

Does conflict in relationships keep you up at night like it can for me? How do you deal with it?