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I Can’t Fix This

Jun 14, 2011

pstrongemA few years ago, I wrote this little post after a particularly hard day. Maybe you can relate to it? /em/strong/p
pWe women are Fixers. /p
pWe are always kissing boo-boos, resolving arguments, combing out
tangles, and feeding our hungry little people. We run forgotten lunches
up to school, and help glue things onto posterboard for projects that
should have been started much sooner than the night before it was due.
We know how to smooth over hurt feelings, and sing away bad dreams. /p
pSomehow, over the years I’ve gone from not knowing how to fix a warm
bottle for a crying infant, to knowing how to fix almost any situation. /p
pBut there are things, hard things, that I can’t fix. There are the
plumbing, electrical and mechanical problems that I should never, ever
touch. And there are deeper things of the heart that are beyond my
pToday was one of those days. I couldn’t fix my husband’s cold. I
couldn’t fix his exhaustion from trying to do too much with not enough
time or money. I couldn’t pull the boat out of the pond. I couldn’t fix
the car when it broke down on him on the side of the road. I
couldn’t take over his hockey practice for him. There were so many
things that went wrong for my man today, and there was a good chance
that my actions (or inactions) even played into making it a very, very
bad day. I couldn’t fix it./p
pIt’s so much easier when you can go right on in and make everything
better. But we are boot-strapping, and money is often tight. We can’t just whip out the plastic and get new stuff when it breaks. Sometimes, simply maintaining what we have takes more than we are able to
give. Just once, I would like my husband to be able to enjoy a weekend (or
weekday, for that matter) without something falling apart or demanding his attention. I can’t fix
that, either./p
pAnd then there are the matters of the heart. Oh, how I wish I could
simply make my man’s heart feel better with a wave of a magic wand. But
my encouraging words sound hollow, even to my own ears. Maybe the
Benadryl/Tylenol/Advil cocktail will help his body lose some of the
aches, but what about the ache of discouragement and defeat I know he
has? It’s so deep tonight, I know I can’t fix it./p
pThe only thing I know to do is to pray. It’s what I’ve been doing all day./p
pemGod, YOU fix this. Please./em/p
pIt’s when things are beyond my control and when I get to the end of
what I can do that I finally reach out to the Creator of the Universe.
Surely, emHe/em knows what to do. He can pick up broken pieces, mend
troubled hearts, and heal wounded bodies. He can provide food in the
wilderness and water in the desert. He’s good at fixing things,
restoring things. /p
pstrongIt’s what He does best/strong./p
pIsaiah 51:3 says, em”The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will
look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like
Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will
be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.”/em/p
pMaybe this is where God wants me today. In the place where things are
just beyond my ability to fix. I can make us a nice meal, help with the
night time chores and rub some sore shoulders. I can be a listening ear
if my man even feels like talking about this awful day. And beyond
that, it’s out of my hands./p
And into His./p
pemWhat are you asking God to fix today?/em/p