There are a few things that aren’t high on my “favorites” list. Pumping gas is one of them. Boy, is it ever. And close to that is public speaking. No, thanks. Well, I’ve yet to find a nifty invention or my way around it so, I still pump my gas every week. As for public speaking? Well, I’m going to be doing that in a couple days. Yikes.
I’m not sure how it happened since it all happened so fast. A friend asked, with a straight face, if I’d speak at our “casual” church gathering. The night is going to have a creative spin to it and since I love being creative, it seemed to make sense in her mind. In her mind. I’m still trying to convince mine.
When she asked, my initial answer was a no. Without hesitation. It made perfect sense to me and I was okay with it being my final answer . . . until I felt that nudge. Why was I really saying no? Why did she even ask? I don’t have public conversations, I have private ones. I like to sit in the audience and glean from those that have the stomach lining fit to handle the nerves of public speaking. It isn’t on my wish-list of things to accomplish and it definitely doesn’t fit in to the frame of opportunities I picture for myself.
I searched for reasons but couldn’t find a legitimate one that I could use to decline. My schedule was free and frankly, I had been safe in my little comfort zone long enough. So, with a lump in my throat and a nervous laugh, I called her back and accepted. I waited for several days in hopes she’d call back to recant on her offer. She didn’t.
And actually, I’m still waiting.
I’m not good at this – speaking to groups larger than a handful. I go blank in mid sentence. My conversations go left and spiral down rabbit holes. When I get excited I talk fast and skip words within my sentences because I can’t get them out fast enough. That’s who God thinks will be capable of encouraging a room full of women? Oh man, does He not know?!
I only told a small handful of friends. Two to be exact. And well, now you, of course. 🙂 So three! I told three people. My plan was to keep it a secret but I needed a back-up plan. These friends are considered downright pros in the field of public speaking, in my opinion. I needed to rally a solid support system. If I were to bolt across the country seconds before I was suppose to get up and speak . . . for whatever reason (it could happen!) . . . they’d be able to step in and take my place. Without batting an eye.
As I told each of them about what I agreed to do, they all looked at me with excitement and also regret. Each had schedules that conflicted with the evening’s event. My back-up plan? Gone. Each of them. My support system. My floatation devices. Deflated.
That leaves me with just Him. God. The only true and solid support system that I will need. He gives us opportunities to fully put our trust in Him. Not in our own logic or our own strength and expertise but in His steadfast truths. Is He asking you to do something that will take you out of your comfort zone? Something that just doesn’t fit or line up with the plans you’ve set out for yourself? Before you throw that crazy idea away or decline that offer, seek and pray and really listen. You may not consider yourself equipped for what He’s asking you to do, but He certainly knows you are.
I’m still fumbling through what I’ll say in a couple of days but despite a few nerves, I will trust Him. His Word says that we can rely on Him to fill in the gaps beautifully when we trust Him. You and I are free to move forward with confidence knowing that.
Praying for you! 🙂
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But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”