Home » Blog » Guest Blogger: Amena Brown Owen | The Mystery and Honesty of Marriage

Guest Blogger: Amena Brown Owen | The Mystery and Honesty of Marriage

Amena Brown Owen | Feb 06, 2014

A poet.

A speaker.

An author.

Amena Brown does it all. Her words are rich and robust – bursting at the seams with wisdom and eye-opening insight. Every time she takes a platform, audiences sit forward in their seats, riveted by her presentations.

That’s what I did the first time I heard her.

This woman is a phenomenon. She’s the fresh breath of authentic air that people have been looking to find. She doesn’t sugar coat truth or try to catapult around difficult topics. Instead, she addresses them with a unique, personal style that inspires and incites to action.

Amena is a “divine antagonist” of sorts – an urban prophet stirring up the souls of folks all over the world.

But, she’d tell you herself that she is also just a woman who loves a man – a wife seeking to honor her husband and bring the Lord glory through their union. I’m grateful for her guest post today about the mysteries of marriage.

Enjoy it. Respond to it. And then get to know Amena. You’ll be all the better for it.

Your sister,


Amena Brown

Marriage leaves little room for selfishness. But every now and then you forget you don’t just live for yourself. You forget that it is not your spouse’s twenty-four hour job to entertain you, please you, make you happy, tell you your morning breath smells like grape bubblegum, and that any gas you pass is a waft from a bed of roses.

Marriage gets real. In real marriage there is no sitcom, no theme music, no cutting away from or to the drama. You say vows, start a life, move-in. You bring your stuff: clothes, books, experiences, stories, wounds, character, love. You and the one you fell in love with, the one you couldn’t get enough of, the one you stood at the altar and promised to be faithful to, spend the rest of your life deciding what to keep and what to discard, reminding each other of what’s important.

Marriage is challenging. Especially when you forget you can’t do it by yourself, when you forget you and the love of your life, no matter how much love you have, don’t have arms strong enough to hold a marriage together. Only God’s arms are strong enough to do that, God, the one who brought you together, keeps you together, teaches you everyday how to love and be loved.

Marriage is tough. When you’re tired, when you fight, when misunderstanding, brick by brick, builds a wall between you. When busyness, responsibilities, hurts, baggage, become bigger than elephants in the room of your relationship. When your anger creates a kind of tug of war that keeps you from sleeping side by side at night. When you look at your husband and wonder if the two of you can make it through this. Survive.

wedding rings

Yes, marriage is hard. But is anything worth it in life really easy? When you stood at the altar, wide-eyed and believing, you didn’t say you would work and love and commit because it would be easy. You said you would live this life together with the kind of fierce love and commitment that God shows to you every day.

Each morning you wake up and God hands you new mercies before you can sip your first cup of coffee. So today, give your eyes a chance to see your husband and your marriage through a new lens. Make a decision that you will pray and work and love and commit. Not because you’re strong enough but because God is more than strong enough for both of you.

Marriage is a mystery. The same God who can take two lives, stories, personalities, gifts, ways of doing things and make them one, is the same God who exists as One and Trinity. So let the master sculptor make one out of the two of you. Let the same hands that carved out the universe shape you and what your marriage will become.