The Secret Seer
“ . . .your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.” – Matt. 6:4
It was only 8am and I was exhausted.
I rolled over on my soft pillow and squinted; my eyes trying to focus on the bright sun split sky that peeked through the slivers in the shades.
Is it morning already?
I groaned and covered my face with a blanket. I felt spent. Energy totally depleted. Felt like I’d gotten in bed only moments ago.
Hmmm. I had.
The evening before, we’d tucked our boys into their beds at the usual time. Everyone had fallen asleep soundly. I jumped into bed shortly after in hopes of a full night of rest. But that wouldn’t be. Jude, 12 months old at the time, awoke shortly after midnight. He belted out a scream that could’ve awakened the neighborhood. I raced in to check on him but quickly found that there was nothing wrong. He was just. . . up.
Surely a few moments of rocking will put him at ease and back to sleep.
I rocked. I sang. I swayed. I patted. I purred. I rubbed. I paced.
Those moments turned to half-hours. Those half hours turned into full ones; four to be exact. These were hours I didn’t care to visit. You know them, the wee ones – dark, quiet, still, lonely. I paced the floor, trying to keep the others from waking. Those were isolating, lonesome moments.
No one patting me on the back for encouragement.
No one cheering me on to the finish.
No one to observe and applaud my faithful mothering.
Just the unseen, unnoticed midnight hours.
We finally tumbled into bed together at 4am– baby tucked in the crook of my elbow.
Eventually, he dosed. . . .eventually.
Unnoticed giving. Giving in secret. Expending extra time, extra energy, extra resources, extra emotional concern . . . . essentially everything with little notice from others. It can all seem so unappreciated sometimes, can’t it? So overlooked? So under-valued?
Yes, I know.
And, it might have that forlorn night. If God’s Spirit hadn’t had something to say about it.
“Priscilla, I’m the secret seer”, He whispered just as I began to dose off.
“Your unnoticed gifts are in my full view and I take pleasure in dispensing reward.”
What’s the secret gift you’ve been giving away? That final detail you made sure was finished, the financial gift you slid under the door, the prayer you lifted up for another, the “want” you sacrificed to meet someone else’s “need”. You’ve been the unnamed, secret soldier who’s marched in and left footprints of love on the landscape of someone’s life. And maybe, as the holidays have come, you’ve found that even more is needed from you. So you’ve given and you plan to keep right on doing it. Have you wondered if it’s worth it – when you walk away and no one says “thank you”? Have you questioned the energy it required – when you come back home feeling a bit spent? Have you wanted to take it back – when those invested hours seemed to yield little dividends?
There’s good news for the weary, secret giver:
There is a Secret Seer.
O yes, Someone sees and not just a mere human whose accolades would dissipate as easily as the curling smoke that appears at the meeting of warm breath with cold air. This is One whose divine gifts are grand and vast and . . . eternal. So take courage, secret soldier. He saw the good deed, the extended hand, the opened heart, the generous act that you thought had gone unnoted and unobserved. That which you’ve depleted He will return – pressed down, shaken together and running over.
In fact, it seems that knowing holy gifts like these are offered to secret givers should not only cause us to rest easy in what we’ve already done but look for more opportunity to do it again. . .and again.
To give undercover.
To share unnamed.
To offer without notice.
It seems that the secret servants have a special place in the heart of the Servant Savior.
So, if you feel unnoticed, unappreciated and overlooked just lift up your eyes and your gaze will fall on the eyes of the Holy One. He is watching every opportunity you’ve grasped, every gift you’ve offered, every undisclosed detail you’ve set straight. He’s taken note and promises a reward; one that surpasses mere human attention and applause.
The only king that’s worth receiving anyway.
* Adapted from the Seed Bible Study.
Priscilla Shirer, Going Beyond Ministries